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There are few things funnier than going to a restaurant with a friend who orders “FILL IT MIG NON” instead of filet mignon.  Better still is the date who asks for the SAL MUN and rice instead of salmon.  It brings to mind that line from the old Sheila E. classic, Glamorous Life, in which she says, “He -saw her standing in the section marked IF-YOU-HAVE-TO-ASK-YOU-CAN’T-AFFORD-IT LINGERIE.”  In other words, STAY IN YOUR LANE.

In some cases, it is not TO-MA-TO / TO-MAH-TO.  It’s just plain mispronunciation.  The first thought when you hear these mistakes is that the person placing this order is someone who probably shouldn’t be eating it. Hello?  If you don’t know how to say it, you’ve shouldn’t be eating it.

The same goes for shoes.  A recent article in the Seattle Times offered this handy pronunciation guide of the hottest shoes on the planet.  Be honest.  How many times have you been sitting with a group of girls coveting a fabulous pair of shoes and they unknowingly pronounced it wrong.  You chuckle silently to yourself, but deep down you’re thinking, “Yeah right.  You’ll never get them honey if you can’t even say them.”  If one more person says CHRISTIAN LOUIS VUITTONS you will no doubt scream. It’s almost better to refer to them as “the ones with the red on the bottom.”

As a service to our readers, here is a  handy guide to help you “talk the walk” and at least sound like you should own a $500 pair of pumps.

It wouldn’t hurt to practice these with your friends before  attempting in public.  This has been a public service announcement from The ToiBox Times.  Happy shoe shopping.